I HATE text messaging.

Nothing is more annoying to me than people who constantly text message. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. We went to a basketball game earlier tonight, and the whole time they were singing the national anthem my roommate was text messaging. Now, I'm not all sappy and patriotic, but is that necessary? Plus, she continued to text throughout the entire game. It makes me crazy! Can't you just call whoever it is your texting nonstop after the game and have a 5 minute conversation rather than text for 2 hours straight? Am I not entertaining enough for you? I mean, you're drunk, at a basketball game with 3,000 other students, we're winning, and cheering, and you still have the need to text the WHOLE time?! Is nothing in the world exciting enough to keep you from texting? I don't know, I think the person who invented text messaging should probably be stabbed, a little, well maybe just slapped.
OK.
Its 10:51pm, and I have an 8am class tomorrow, and all I hear is the obnoxious noise of my roommate tapping away on her stupid $400 phone's keyboard. How about Verizon comes up with a phone that is fucking silent. Its the least they could do if the world won't give up texting. How about rubber keys, those wouldn't click. To make it even worse, she's in a bad mood because they're arguing. So now her tapping has turned into smashing, and slamming the phone shut, followed by grunting, and muttering under her breath. GO OUTSIDE AND CALL him. Honestly. AIFHWIETH#$OI%H@#$!@$. That's how I feel about you, stupid text messaging.

You've ruined my night.

Oh the Snuggie...

Well, since the debut of this infamous infomercial there has been an uproar of controversy among Kay, Jayme, and myself. Kay deep down loved the Snuggie, but felt a little awkward coming clean around Jayme and myself because of our unwavering disgust of the blanket with sleeves. Now that its winter and the house is always freezing, I must admit, the thought of a fleece blanket with sleeves is slightly appealing, but that doesn't change the fact that the infomercial is ridiculous! I found this funny parody on stumbleupon.com and I think it perfectly describes my feelings on the Snuggie.

Lol

Man these bitches better get some more posts up, eh? Why wont' they share? Anyway here is a quote from Jay Leno's Monolgue (found here)that I like:

"...And according to the “British Journal of Psychiatry,” marijuana can cause panic attacks, especially when you realize you’re almost out of marijuana."

Heh heh. So true.

A few things...

So Friday was the 36th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade... which I didn't write about because I've been a bit angry at babies lately, and I didn't want my temporary bitterness to come off as a total baby-hating-lets-abort-those-devil-fetuses mentality...

But in related news that does not remind me so much of my current baby-resentment, yesterday President(!) Obama lifted the Global Gag Rule. I'm pretty excited about this, even though it has been lifted and passed several times in the past. The rule (which says that no U.S. funding can be given to any international family planning organizations that provide, recommend, mention, or pretty much even think about abortion) was first put in place by Ronald Reagan, was repealed by Bill Clinton, was put back into effect by George W, and now was repealed again by Obama. So I guess it's somewhat of a tradition to toss back and forth between parties...

Anyway, this is no doubt great news for women and healthcare providers around the world, and this morning I read an article about a somewhat related issue that I think is pretty cool. One proposal (one out of a shit-ton I would imagine) of Obama's $825 billion stimulus package

"would expand Medicaid family planning services to all 50 states [and] would enable people who don’t qualify for Medicaid to receive the family planning services, including contraceptives" (emphasis mine).

In addition to being, ummm, ♪awe-some♫, this sounds pretty logical, eh? Making sure everyone has access to some kind of birth control? Less unwanted pregnancies is a good thing, no?

So here's this article titled "Contraceptives not the type of stimulus Boehner can believe in". Just the title annoys me a little bit, like youre supposed to read it and think "Contraception?? to stimulate the economy? That wacky Obama, har har what crazy thing will he come up with next?" And the "(blank) we can believe in" joke is pretty played out as far as I'm concerned.

But yeah, Joe Boehner is the House Minority Leader. You'd think he'd be all for this proposal since it would cause less unwanted pregnancies, and therefore less abortions... which is what those fucking republicans are always whining about, right?

Anyway, I think this article kind of takes this issue and Boehner's thoughts on it out of context. I think this is just one tiny part of Obama's plan, and I'm sure Boehner had other concerns besides this...

But.. while were on it, can you please take a look at Congressman Boehner?



He is cracking me up! When I saw this picture I was like "oh man he is really not a fan of Obama" because that is quite the evil eye...

...then I saw him looking like he's about to puke all over Nancy Pelosi and figured he's just not a fan of Democrats. But alas...

I think he feels the same way about Bush! Finally I realized that it's just this guys face.

That's just how it looks. Anyway I've been LOLing all morning over this guy so I just needed to share this. And for good luck, here's one more. I have nooo idea why he is crying.

Do you believe me when I say that?

So.. have I got news to talk about today. It seems like this week at URI has been more eventful than ever before. Last night I almost got caught toking in my room with my roommate, but my RA came in and said the other RA's were going to come search our room, so we'd better run. So I had to be a fugitive for a few hours, but in the end I didn't get caught. Then later that night I saw a full on fight happen right in front of my window! BUT the real highlight of my week was yesterday when I went to my us. history class for the first time, and had the great pleasure of meeting professor joel cohen. He came in screaming, and trying to be tough.. which I hate. Its so obviously an act, and he will probably be a good teacher. Why the fucking act joel cohen? He just likes to yell. I think he really likes his own voice. I took some good notes, not on the lecture exactly, but on the lovely vulgarities.
"I'm an asshole."
"Grades don't mean shit."
"I don't care if you call me asshole, joel, cohen, whatever, but you better say sir."
"You fucking students don't even know how to think."
"I've been in this business a long time." (I just really hate how cocky this sounds.)
"I'm not warm and cuddly, my stepdaughter thinks I'm a prick, because I am."
"Most people think of me as a tool, douche bag, and other synonyms for fucking pain in your ass."

Here comes my favorite...he looks directly at me, sitting in the front row because I came in late, and says...

-"I'm an evil, mean, sadistic, son of a bitch. Do you believe me when I say that?"
-"Absolutely, sir."

A sick day in Evil Falls Maine

I find a strange since of paranoia when taking a sick day in a small town. It began with a trip to my Nurse Practitioner for my Depo shot. I had it planned out, I would take the back roads, no one would see me. But when I arrived at the office they had moved to the Main Road…Fuck. Drove past the office of course I drove by one of my staff and I can’t wait to hear the rumors. Arrived at my appointment the receptionist, her assistant, and the Nurse Practitioner all ask “how are you doing today?” I tell all three that I’m “good”. I always say good. I AM NOT GOOD.

Following the appointment I go to the grocery store. Here is where the paranoia really sets in. Sick people do not go shopping on their sick day ever. It begs rumors. I go in to buy juice and dinner supplies as despite being sick I’m still responsible for a weekly dinner. I hope that if anyone sees me they will see my immunity defense juice and leave me alone, but I know sick people do not need to buy lasagna noodles.


After my nap I begin to make dinner. I receive a call from a member of the dinner party wondering if I had picked a dessert to make. Funny, we never had dessert before we were trying to lose weight. Why do we need it now? Yes, I made dessert. A staff person who shall remain nameless came to visit. She had to park in the back of the parking lot. She lets me know that another staff person drove by my apartment yesterday and reported that I was home at a weird time. Do I supervise a bunch of stalkers?!? Is it not creepy to drive by a persons home and make note of if their car is there? Is it not even stranger to think that other people would care what time I was at my apartment? Maybe my staff just has a crush on me.


I continue to make dinner. I forgot cheese. I have to go back to the store. Just one item I should be in and out. I get in. I decide I should also get bagged salad. I grab the bagged salad and take the back aisle to the cheese. Before I make it…someone I work with. I tried to duck down the bread aisle. Too Late! “Liz, How are you doing? You’ve been out of work a couple days.” Now I will pause here to explain that this woman is possibly one of my least favorite people to work with. She has a 45 year old body, but I swear a 13 year old mentality. Last year she decided to buy the same backpack as me. Now this would be fine except my backpack was a $150 laptop backpack. She did not have a laptop. Then she came up to me with her new backpack and apologized for “being a copier”. I am so painfully serious. I tell her I plan to be at work tomorrow. Yes, due to being spotted in the grocery store, I would have to go to work tomorrow if I had the plague. Like I said sick people do not leave the house on a sick day. Seeing me at the grocery store on a sick day can be just as shocking as seeing me in a girls gone wild video.

Living in close quarters.

I think I may need Jayme to give me lessons in how to blog exactly. I've never been much of a wipper-snapper...  

But I guess I'll talk about the most exciting day I've had in quite some time. I moved back up to school at URI yesterday, 

and expected to be living once again with my two roommates: Julie, the wannabe playboy bunny who loves her boobies, and Nicole who is 5'2'', super skinny, and has some serious anger issues, but for the most part is a great roommate. BUT! to my surprise... Julie moved out! She didn't say anything to either me or Nicole for the month we were on break, aside from mentioning how much she hated us in a facebook note.. she got back a few hours after I did and just started moving her stuff out! Anyway, me and Nicole spent the day rearranging our room and now I feel like being a hermit/wipper-snapper and hanging out in my uri sweatpants and giraffe slippers on my computer jamming to some weezy. 

Here's my 

new beautiful 

side of my cell... 

Well, now on to the section that Jayme has been waiting for!

Buds with Bay .... (and Kay!??!) 

Sadly I'm running low on buds at the moment.. but I am smoking what little I have left. Later on I plan to go up to the infamous third floor and see what I can find. There's this super awesome hippy who lives up there. He's got long blond dreads, wears green corduroys, and has a purple backpack that never leaves his side. The best part about him is that he grows a lot of delicious buds. AND! he gives it out like candy on halloween. His philosophy, and the first sentence he ever said to me was, "money is no good here, man, just come chill and get high, man."          

Let's blog!

...Man I feel like a whipper-snapper just using that word! I haven't really introduced myself yet, mostly because i know me and kayla and now baylee and leaves are the only ones who read this... but maybe someday some other people will. So I am Jayme aka Soft&Crafty, and my sis is Kayla, aka Undergirl.

I've written all the posts so far except for the one with the Paramore video that Kayla put up. And yeah so far my posts have been maybe a little lame, but you gotta start somewhere! Kayla better get on this shit though. She's supposed to be the whipper-snapper!

Anyway, Baylee and Leaves have talked about wanting to blog, and I am hoping that they will start here! It's so fun and easy and they can write whateva they want! I'm hoping Baylee will do like a weekly post about one of her (and my) favorite topics: BAKED LAYS! Its like 2 jokes! lol. No seriously though, she can have a weekly post called "Baylee's Buds" and she can give us the latest and greatest on the ganja! Isn't that a great idea??

As for Leaves.. maybe a little insight into living in a town of 1500 people who youre not allowed to talk to? We'll see. She's already blown my mind with the fact that her blogger name is "Eatsshootsandleaves"! Lol those damn pandas!

And hopefully Leaves and Baylee can add some more, much-needed cat (and pup) blogging to this place. I know they've both got some pretty cute fluffies that need to be introduced to teh interwebs asap!

Anyway, I sent Baylee and Leaves both invites to blog with me today... I hope they accept so we can spread the word and become known throughout the land for our great wit and insight! 

Not doin sh*t...

My mind has been running today. Started off with a temper tantrum. Like a damn 6-year-old i swear to god. Anyway work is taking its time today... One of the maintenance guys is painting the floors in our area so ive been watching and talking to him a lot this week. He is so weird! He like always mumbles and says some pretty vulgar stuff to me under his breath but i think he's kidding? He is just really a strange guy. But he's actually pretty funny. And disgruntled. A little bit like the janitor on Scrubs only raunchier with a ponytail and a harley instead of a van. Anyway he totally made my morning yesterday when he walked in the door and his supervisor asked him if he had shoveled the snow off the front steps on his way in. He comes over to me and starts mumbling about how he's always getting bitched at here and ends with this little gem of wisdom:

"Fuck that! I'm not doin SHIT til I'm clocked in."

That's what I'm sayin bro! I like his attitude.

MeMe!

So my backround on my computer at work is always a LOLcat. That shit makes me laugh so hard. This old guy who is an IT guy at work saw my background of an LOLcat and assumed it was my own photo and started talking to me about stuff in the photo. Not only was it weird to me that he didn't know what it was, but it was also funny to me that it seemed weird to me! Like who doesn't know an LOLcat when they see one, right??

welp.. if ya don't know, now ya know...

make sure to check out: http://icanhascheezburger.com/

RIOT!

If my heart could write songs i think they would sound something like this:

Something about paramore is just so special to me. Hearing hayley williams sing touches me. If i were to try and put my finger on why i find them to be so special it would be a few different things. For one thing i'm the only one i know that is really into them. i didnt hear about them from somebody else. I heard them on my own and downloaded their albums on my own. I listen to them constantly when im alone. For the most part i would probably prefer to listen to paramore than watch tv. Hayley writes all the lyrics and melodies herself, and she is only a few months older than me. I cant believe someone so young can be so talented. I don't do anything as well as she rocks out. i dont know im just obsessed with her. i swear to god i was listening to them in my car on thursday and started crying, not at the lyrics, but at the sound of her voice. I shit you not. She just fucking belts it out like nobody's buisness.

The lyrics she writes bring this confidence out of me even if its just for the time that i am in my car listening to it. It brings me back to that feeling ive been looking for that i had in high school where i just didnt care if i had friends or if anyone thought i was cool. i knew i was haha. even the sad songs make me feel good even if im already in a good mood.

Then theres that whole christianity thing that i found out a few weeks ago. I had some idea considering they have a song called hallelujah and a song called miracle but when it was confirmed for some reason i was happy about it. im not a christian but just the way she talks about how happy she is with her life and thanks god for it. thats so adorable and she just sings about her faith in such a tasteful way without shoving it down anybodys throat. like hallelujah? damn straight.

Anyways, i really love paramore. i know its lame to talk about why you love the band that you do because no one agrees on music entirely and its hard to understand why people dont like the music that is so important to you. The point is paramore rocks my world and im glad i have them in my life. i need to see them soon. im a freak. i apologize.

"If my manager insults me again I will be assaulting him"

So let me tell you about this shit they have me doing today. I like can't see out of my eyes anymore because I've been staring at this stuff all week:

I've literally done 20 pages of this. I'm like their data entry bitch. Whatevs though. I don't mind it that much, it's just that these pages of stuff im entering are compiled from all different people so theyre all in different formats and have different ways they need to be entered in the computer.

The other day one of my supervisors told me specifically to enter and link the skus vertically and horizontally. It was a full page of them and it took me like 2 hours and made me want to poke out my eyeballs...

Anyway, turns out that they were only supposed to be linked vertically. So pretty much I just need to complain a little bit more about how these people looove to waste my time. I had to go back into like 200 skus that i had already linked and unlink them. I feel like that happens a lot here. The girl that they had teach me to do this told me i needed to put the sku in and press enter 12 times to get to the spot where i could enter another. I found out after i had already done like 3 pages that if you press F5 (random) it will bring you down to the next line instead of pressing enter 12 times after every number. A few weeks ago they decided all the cashiers were supposed to enter peoples name, address, and email into a spreadsheet during any down time they had. Only we actually didnt need the names. Or the adresses. We worked on entering like 600 people's info into the spreadsheet and then they told us that they actually only needed a list of emails.

I could go on with stories like this, but... I digress. HA!

But really they do this all the time, and it's such a bummer when you realize the shit that you spent hours on was already done by someone else yesterday.

Buuut im the one who sucks at this job. They told me when I started that they would probably give me a dollar raise but they only gave me a 25 cent raise when i had my review, because I "need to pay more attention to detail" because I "sometimes make mistakes."

No shit!
Do you see this stuff they have me do all day? entering pages and pages of numbers who wouldn't make an occassional error?

I don't know, that's all I'm gonna say about it for now. I have another review in 60 days to get the other 75 cents/hour. It adds up to about $360 that I'll miss out on in that 60 days. Thats not too bad really which is why i'm gonna lay low for now. That and I know im gonna cry hysterically or swear a lot at my boss if I try to bring it up again. Some other time I'll tell the story about what my boss said to me that made me tell him that I really wished he would "shut the fuck up"...

Oh, today.

Ok. So they have me doing some pret-ty tedious stuff today. But before I jump into that, here is some stuff that makes me happy today. Check out my oufit. I stand at a computer most of the day, so everytime I look down I see the greeny and bluey colors and I LIKE EM!

Also, I really like the shape of these shoes I think. I got them at Payless like a year ago. They look like Rocket Dogs. I wish the green on them matched the green of the shirt im wearing a little bit better, but when i look from far enough away its not too bad.

But yeah. This is the crap I have to think about.

But it was pretty funny taking this picture of my shoe and trying to act like I wasn't taking a picture of my shoe... Later, we'll have to take a look at what kind of work I am doing today.

Am I blowin your mind yet people?

Purl & Ra

Here they are! Pearl is the white one and Olive is the black one.  Olive likes to be called "Ra" for short. They are such special girls!