Do you believe me when I say that?

So.. have I got news to talk about today. It seems like this week at URI has been more eventful than ever before. Last night I almost got caught toking in my room with my roommate, but my RA came in and said the other RA's were going to come search our room, so we'd better run. So I had to be a fugitive for a few hours, but in the end I didn't get caught. Then later that night I saw a full on fight happen right in front of my window! BUT the real highlight of my week was yesterday when I went to my us. history class for the first time, and had the great pleasure of meeting professor joel cohen. He came in screaming, and trying to be tough.. which I hate. Its so obviously an act, and he will probably be a good teacher. Why the fucking act joel cohen? He just likes to yell. I think he really likes his own voice. I took some good notes, not on the lecture exactly, but on the lovely vulgarities.
"I'm an asshole."
"Grades don't mean shit."
"I don't care if you call me asshole, joel, cohen, whatever, but you better say sir."
"You fucking students don't even know how to think."
"I've been in this business a long time." (I just really hate how cocky this sounds.)
"I'm not warm and cuddly, my stepdaughter thinks I'm a prick, because I am."
"Most people think of me as a tool, douche bag, and other synonyms for fucking pain in your ass."

Here comes my favorite...he looks directly at me, sitting in the front row because I came in late, and says...

-"I'm an evil, mean, sadistic, son of a bitch. Do you believe me when I say that?"
-"Absolutely, sir."