I feel that it is important to begin with a small amount of background.
On December 5, 2008 I was pulled over on my one mile ride home from work. The officer who pulled me over said that I had rolled through a stop sign. I gave him my information and he looked at my car registered in Maine and my Connecticut license. At this point he seems to have completely forgotten about the stop sign I allegedly ran through and asked how long I've lived in Maine. About a year. He told me that he could arrest me for this offense and when I asked if he was going to he said 'no'. He came back with a court summons for February 2, 2009. It cited me for the class E crime of driving without a license...I had a license. He asked if I was going directly home and I told him I was going home. He told me to go home or he would tow my car.
So I call the Clerk's office several times to see if I can just pay a fine, as I don't want a criminal record, particuarly for something that stupid. They don't have me into the system. I make a final attempt on the day before I was scheduled to go into court. Still not in the system. At which point I ask what I should do. The Clerk's office told me that I didn't have to go to court because they would have to summons me again. I clarified that and they said I shouldn't worry about it. I asked why it was taking so long and they gave me the number for the Dirstrict Attorney's office.
I call the District Attorney. I'm in there system and they tell me that I haven't been put through because they need more information from the officer that pulled me over. What information would he possibly remember two months later? I tell the DA that the Clerk's office told me I didn't have to go to court. They tell me that if I don't go they will issue a warrent for my arrest! I think there is a break in the system. What the Hell?
I go to court. I walk into the room and all I can smell is Skoal. So gross. I wait for two and a half hours and finally the judge says he has called all of the cases that he has and does anyone believe that they should have been called. I raise my hand and say my name. The DA tells the judge that they will not be filing charges. Did she not know that the day before? What the Hell?
In any case I am not a class E criminal.
So there are thousands of videos that I would like to post for you (theres been a total of 2725 episodes over the past 16 years!), however I am at work and they block all video on the internet. That will have to wait for another time, but don't worry! I have some Late Night quotes and pics to hold you over... this is quite the random selection, but it all cracks me up! 
The Evil puppy is sooo adorable, but don't let him fool you! 
I'm sure you haven't forgot about HornyManatee.com... 
